Thursday, July 29, 2010

Ponder

Through all the wrongs I've done, and the regrets I couldn't ignore, with the way things are happening, I've learned to accept that life has its own way of making us realize, that every bit of sequence we are undergoing, partakes a very important role in leading us to where we are supposed to be at. There are too many lists of options out there and it depends largely on us, which we wish to remain. No matter what that is, it's still solely ourselves who get to decide who and what we become.

One time before, I told myself, I'm giving myself one more week to cry and mourn for my dying self and resurrect after seven days. Start a new day. Start a new life. Forget the people not worth it. Bury them in the past or else die and disappear forever. However, these statements were never true to me. I realized we can never give ourselves a timeline, to better live a good life, even if, that is (the above aforementioned) what I define to be a better life. At least through this, I was able to open my eyes and lift my spirit, because at least I still value myself.

These are the only true things that hold me true ----> I mean it when I say I care; I don't say I LOVE YOU if I don't. I may be resilient but I, too, get tired of fighting. I feel stupid for holding on, to whatever that's not even worth it. I can't seem to pick my senses and put up my broken pieces at least until now. I keep coming back to someone who doesn't give a damn. I am loving the right person at the wrong time.

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